ChildFree Matchmaker Social Network

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The Webmaster at ChildFree Matchmaker

Grown ups Have Rights Too!

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What goes on when we try to manipulate our voice to attract a mate? Her voice is hot, his is not really

What goes on when we try to manipulate our voice to attract a mate? Her voice is hot, his is not really

New research suggests that men cannot intentionally make their own voices sound more sexy or even attractive, while women have little trouble. And true to the belief, women will lower their message and increase their hoarseness to dial up the allure.

“ This ability may be due to culture and cuts across cultures and time, ” says Susan Hughes, Ph. D., associate professor of psychology at Albright College. “ There is a stereotype of what is a sexual voice in our culture — the lowest, breathy voice. ”

The findings appear in the article “ The Perception and Parameters of Intentional Voice Manipulation” appearing in this particular month’ s Log of Nonverbal Behavior . The investigation examines the patterns that emerge when men and women intentionally modify their own voices to project four attributes related to mate selection and competition — sexiness, dominance, intelligence and confidence — and how others perceive these manipulations.

For your study, 40 participants (20 men, 20 women) provided intentionally altered voice samples for the desired attributes, plus a normal speech sample. Each sample consisted of participants counting from to 10. Another 40 people assessed the degree to which each trial effectively projected the given trait.

The researchers discovered that women could make their voices sound more attractive, but men could not. “ In fact , although not significantly, it got a bit worse when men attempted to sound sexy, ” says Hughes.

The difference may be rooted in mate selection, the study states. Women know that men place better emphasis on attractiveness when choosing a partner, which voice attractiveness can predict physical attractiveness. Thus, it is beneficial for females to sound sexier to enhance their own value to potential mates and to stave off competition from rival women.

Spectrogram analyses from the samples revealed that both sexes slowed their speech to sound sexy/attractive, while women also lowered their pitch and increased their own hoarseness. Ironically, men prefer higher-pitch females, but a woman will transmission her interest in a man by intentionally dropping her voice, said Hughes.

The study found that both sexes can manipulate their own voices to sound more smart. Women, however , could not sound more confident. Men could, but only when evaluated by female raters. This may be accurate, according to the study, because it’ s important for men to project self-confidence to women (and for women in order to perceive it), since confidence may indicate financial and personal success, which usually women value in a potential companion. Men, on the other hand, may be more mindful to detecting male posturing and more inclined to underrate their competition.

Researchers were surprised to find that both men and women could similarly and effectively manipulate their voices to sound more dominant. This may indicate a cultural shift. As more women enter traditionally male-dominated tasks and leadership positions, they may choose to modify their voices to sound more formidable. As example, the research points to former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, who received vocal training to sound a lot more domineering when coming into office.

The authors believe the research could have practical applications for singing coaching, including in the fields of public speaking and acting, and in better communicating with an audience.

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The significance of breaking dysfunctional relationship patterns (Kevin Evens)

The significance of breaking dysfunctional relationship patterns (Kevin Evens)

Jun 11, 2014

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The importance of breaking dysfunctional relationship designs

Many people have difficulty developing healthy relationship patterns. These individuals often do not understand how they are sabotaging their own joy because of childhood experiences. It is essential for almost any individual to become aware of their self destructive behavior in order to change the type of romantic relationships which are created within their lives. The creation of healthy relationships is a progressive process which usually requires personal commitment and self reflection.

Personal development allows an individual to create healthy expectations of the romantic partners. There is no such factor as a normal relationship. Normalcy is really a matter of perception. Still, anybody should feel personally empowered whenever they are engaging in a healthy partnership. Private progress is essential to the development of healthy boundaries. Respect and consideration for each other is essential to the development of a lasting partnership.

If a person is not only aware of their own designs, they will often engage in destructive behaviors. Incapability to behave in a more positive manner can lead to depression and lack of personal satisfaction. Negative emotional reactions within relationships can often cause both parties to be unnecessarily frustrated with each other. Identifying the issues which are causing undesirable results is required in order to create positive change.

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When an individual feels that they are capable of changing their own circumstances, they will be more likely to engage in behavioral modification techniques. People who choose to change their behavior will often notice a positive change in their overall sense of personal and emotional well being.

It is the obligation of each individual and modify their own behavior in order to create positive results. Those who feel empowered are often able to communicate their needs in the clear and concise manner. Self forgiveness could make the process of changing behavior significantly simpler for each person who has previously made a lot of personal mistakes. Every emotional response is a temporary reaction to situational stimulation. When a person changes their own perspective on a situation, it is simpler for them to believe that they can persevere for the benefit of positive change.

People are often resistance to change of the perception because they are afraid of judgment. It is essential for people understand judgment has to be obtained in order to have an effect upon their emotions. If a person is able to see within their reaction as something with them their own control, it is less likely to dominate or influence the outcome of romantic relationship.

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The significance of Developing Good Relationships

The significance of Developing Good Relationships

How good are your relationships along with your neighbors, colleagues, and partners? Having good relationships is very important.

Research has shown that good relationships make life worth living. This is because you tend to enjoy life. This is as a result of having people to share your problems with.

For example , if you are facing financial, family, and social problems, you might have people to talk to about the problems that you are going through. This aids in lightening the responsibility.

Sharing also aids in taking away the sense that you are the only one who is suffering. This acts as a stress buster which ensures that you are delighted and you enjoy your life.

Healthy relationships also play an enormous role in increasing ones productivity. This is linked to the fact that if you are in a healthy relationship, you tend to be much less stressed; therefore , you are able to concentrate in your career or business.

Due to this, you are able to focus and put within long hours in your work which greatly increases your productivity.

If it’ s in the workplace, you tend to focus in your function and as a result you are easily promoted to higher positions.

Good human relationships tend to give you a lot of freedom and positive energy. This is because instead of spending time and energy in overcoming issues that are associated with negative emotions caused by negative relationships, you focus on opportunities that are available for you.

For instance , if you are a business owner, having undesirable emotions can deter you from seeing viable business opportunities.

When you are in a good relationship you tend to have a clear mind; therefore , it is possible to see any opportunities that might be readily available for you and as a result you take advantage of them at the right time. This performs a huge role in bringing about growth and growth of your business.

For a relationship to be known as good, it has to have a number of features. The characteristics include:

Trust – this is the foundation of a healthful relationship. When you trust the other party (s) you are bound to form a strong bond that helps you interact and communicate effectively.

Shared respect – respecting other people demonstrates you value their input and they also value yours. Working and getting together with people that you value helps you within coming up with life’ s solutions which are based on collective wisdom, insight and creativity.

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Romantic relationships: What Causes Enmeshed Relationships?

Romantic relationships: What Causes Enmeshed Relationships?

While human beings are physically separate, it doesn’ t mean that they may be emotionally or intellectually separate. And as connecting to another human being involves opening up and allowing another person to open up, there are going to be moments where one merges with another.

This is not only normal, is really a vital part of feeling connected to one more human being. This can be the result of a discussed emotional experience, as a well being an intellectual experience.

Yet even if it is an intellectual experience, there are still going to be emotions involved. If this merging didn’ t take place, human beings would feel incredible lonely and cut off from each other.

Loss Of Self

However , while someone can feel at one with another person by means of having a shared experience, it can also be the result of one losing themselves. It is after that something that causes them to lose touch with who they are, and to get caught up in another person’ s lifestyle.

To have a shared experience based on each person mirroring what the additional person is experiencing is going to improve one’ s life. But when one individual is out of touch with who they are, and is going along with the other person, it will be unhealthy.

Of course , there are going to be moments in everyone’ s life where this particular takes place. And yet, when it becomes a way of life, there are going to be problems. You can then end up having no sense of self and becoming action of the other person.

Requirements And Wants

Through becoming enmeshed to someone, one is going to have very little, if any kind of, awareness around what their requirements and wants are. Visually, they may be clearly separate, but mentally plus emotionally, they are one and the exact same.

They may have occasions where they are aware of what their needs and wants are, but that is likely to be as far as it will go; as the other person’ s requirements and wants will take precedence. Each other is then in control of what one particular does or doesn’ t do.

Two Sides

On one side then, this is allowing someone to feel connected to one more human being. But unlike a normal connection, where ones sense of personal would still exist, one sense associated with self has disappeared. And this is also going to mean that one will feel a feeling of power through being enmeshed towards the other person.

Yet at the same time, it is also going to cause someone to feel disempowered. At times, one may obtain what they want through pleasing the other person, but they are also going to have to compromise who they actually are in the process. And this is going to cause them to feel: angry, frustrated and powerless.

The Benefit

So unless one was getting some thing through being enmeshed, they wouldn’ t be in this position to begin with. It doesn’ t mean they are consciously aware of why they enmesh along with others, but the benefit is there however.

If they felt stimulated and were able to stand on their own 2 feet, they wouldn’ t possess the need to enmesh with others. At a deeper level, they are going to believe that they could only survive by pleasing other people.


As this person is an adult, it could be hard to understand why they would have this perception. To look at it from another position, this is the kind of belief that a kid would have. At this age, their success can depend on whether they please their caregivers or not. But as an grownup, ones survival doesn’ t need to depend on them pleasing other people.

And just because someone has grown up physically, it doesn’ t mean they have been able to grow up emotionally. Whenever this is the case, one is going to feel like a child and view other people such as they viewed their caregivers.

Pleasing other people will then end up being something they feel compelled to do. If they don’ t, they are going to feel as though their very existence is certainly under threat.


What this displays is that their emotional development has been stunted. And this is likely to be the result of their needs and wants not being met during their childhood years. Instead, they could have been used to meet their caregiver’ s needs and wants.

Their development is going to be in effect and this is going to have triggered them a lot of pain. And as these were not given the nurturing they needed, it is to be expected that they would become dependent on other people as adults.

If they didn’ capital t do what their caregivers desired, they might have been rejected or departed from. At this age, being abandoned could have been overwhelming and could have triggered them to feel as though they were likely to die.


One didn’ t have a choice in what took place during these many years, but as an adult, they do have a choice. And it is going to be important to allow them to release the emotions that have remained in their body from these early years. They will also need to receive the nurturing they didn’ t get growing up.

This can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. Realising ones energy won’ t happen overnight, but it will happen over time.

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all of the aspects of human transformation; love, relationship, self-love, and inner awareness. Along with several hundred in-depth articles featuring human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound help and advice. Current projects include “ The Dialogue With The Heart” and “ Communication Made Easy. ”

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Relationships: How Can Someone Know If Their Relationships Are Dysfunctional?

Relationships: How Can Someone Know If Their Relationships Are Dysfunctional?

You can find people on this planet who are going through relationships that are functional and healthy. This might be how it has always been, or it could be the result of them making sure changes throughout their life.

On the other side of the spectrum is going to be people who are currently experiencing relationships which are dysfunctional and unhealthy. And while this can be the result of what has happened in their later life, it could be something they have experienced more or less their whole lifestyles.


So no matter what ones relationships are like, they are likely to be what are classed because normal. If ones relationships are usually fulfilling, then one can feel pleased; that’ s if they were to even think about how things are to them.

When one has skilled something for a while or for their expereince of living, it can be easy to take it for given. It is then ignored and rather than realising how fortunate one is, you can focus on what they haven’ t obtained for instance.

And if types relationships are not fulfilling, one can think that a victim or that they have simply no control. There is the chance that one is going to do something, and yet they might just put up with how things are.

How life Is

If one is in a position where they have always experienced healthy relationships, they might think that this is how life is. And that everyone else offers relationships that are as fulfilling because theirs.

And if one has always had relationships with other people that are not fulfilling or just in order to relates to the opposite sex for instance, they might also believe that this is how life is. They could believe that everyone else is in the same position as them or just not place too much attention on people who are going through life differently.

The Challenge

So while some individuals will be aware of the fact that their interactions are not healthy and therefore have the opportunity to do something about it, there are also going to become people who are not aware of how dysfunctional their particular relationships are.

Plus like the fish that doesn’ t know it’ s in drinking water, one will have relationships that they don’ t realise are unhealthy. This is simply not to say that one will be in refusal about how things are, they can be only too familiar with pain and episode.

What is can mean is the fact that one has not come to the mindful realisation that their relationships are not healthy. As a result of this, one is unable to know that there are other ways for interactions to be.


The experiences that one has already established with people will have created a certain outlook about what relationships are like. These will have shaped ones personal beliefs about relationships and about their own value.

So if one has only skilled relationships that are abusive, controlling, manipulative, cold and neglectful for instance, then this is going to be classed since the ‘ truth’ to their ego mind. And what the ego mind sees as the truth will define exactly how one experiences life.

Anything that goes against the ego thoughts ideas will be filtered out in some manner. What the mind sees is what is certainly classed as familiar, and what is certainly familiar is what is safe. However , what exactly is classed safe could be harmful and detrimental to ones wellbeing.

The Prison

One can then end up living in a self created prison and the possibility of seeing reality differently becomes extremely hard. In order for one’ s mind to find out that there are other ways for relationships to be, one will need to expose themselves to things that will make their mind think differently.

For as long as one’ s mind is not challenged, one will continue to think in the same way and to therefore experience life in the exact same.


When new information is used on board, it will be like a new seed that is planted; at first very little may occur, but as time passes, growth will be. What this new information really does, is create an inner contrast.

And no matter what types relationships are like, when they have seen they can be different, there is hope. What this then gives someone is the perception that change is possible and that they don’ t have to put up with how items are.

But those new reference points, one would become trapped in the prison that their particular mind has created over the years. This doesn’ t mean that everything will change right away or that it even needs to, exactly what matters is that a new seed continues to be planted.

New Research points

It is obvious that these new reference points won’ t just appear in one’ s i9000 mind, they need to be created. And this is going to mean that one needs to do items they wouldn’ t usually do. Although one will need to accept exactly how things are, it doesn’ t mean that they have to see their lifetime as anything other than feedback.

Their outer world is merely mirroring back what is taking place within them. One way to create new reference point points is to read books upon relationships; this will alter ones internal model. Another way is to consciously look for people who have good relationships.

Ones childhood years play a big role in what their relationships are like as an adult. So looking into exactly what took place here and questioning the particular beliefs that were formed, as well as processing any emotional pain, will make a difference.


Books can be read and programs can be taken, as well as reaching out for the support of a therapist, healer or a coach. The main thing is that one modifications their inner model of what interactions are like and how they deserve to be treated.

Prolific writer, thought head and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful comments and analysis covers all facets of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human being psychology and behavior, Oliver provides hope along with his sound advice. Present projects include “ A Dialogue With The Heart” and “ Communication Made Easy. ”

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Best New York Dating Sites (Robert S. Main)

Best New York Dating Sites (Robert S

May 17, 2014

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The particular ever growing acclaim of dating web sites changes the way we come across enjoy in today’ s world. Deciding on by looks and quick household is an item of the past. These types of internet sites will become better and more covering the more they’ re used. The particular effective use of an accurate personality user profile is sure to land more potentially suitable dates than going out and locating people by yourself. Computers are getting better in their ability to match profiles which is to your advantage for locating some body up to now.

Think about how much you’ lso are prepared to pay and what you are searching for when browsing the choice of dating web sites. If you wouldn’ t like to spend money, free memberships are available on some good web sites. Reading testimonials from members is the best way to judge a websites quality. Many people have been paired upward based on their personality profile and have left in as much as finding a person with which to have a marriage.

Any sort of single person around can be appealed by dating sites. Whether they’ re searching for an important relationship or simply a person looking for someone to have a good time with, they’ re sure to find somebody. Submitting a person’ s user profile begins the dating website method. Essentially, this is nearly all of the web sites content. You can look around other peoples information after adding a user profile, you can look for someone who suits your tastes. Only by being honest are you able to find or be found by someone that is closely matched to your want’ s and likes.

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You don’ to have to exaggerate on your looks or personality just to acquired a date. People have somebody about for them. Most dating sites offer anonymity for your safety plus privacy. You should never have to give out your full name or address at any time upon any legitimate dating web site. Meet in a public place and be judicious when getting together with someone in person. Do not allow them know where you reside or function unless you are comfortable and accustomed to this person. Although most people are generally honest, there are some that misuse the trust you might place in a potential adult dating partner, so be wary.

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Double discrimination impacts physical, mental health

Double discrimination impacts physical, mental health

Racial and sexual minorities, women, and obese people might face more health risks because of their disproportionate exposure to discrimination, according to a new record in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior .

“ Discrimination is usually broadly understood as unfair treatment on the basis of one’ s social team membership, ” said study writer Eric Anthony Grollman, Ph. D., assistant professor in the Department of Sociology and Anthropology at the University of Richmond in Virginia. “ All of our important statuses collectively form our experiences and our health. ”

Grollman analyzed data from the National Survey of Midlife Development in the United States (MIDUS), whose individuals were age 25 to 74, to investigate relationships among multiple disadvantaged statuses and forms of discrimination, together with both mental and physical health.

To assess mental health, respondents were asked in order to report how often they sensed psychological distress in the past month plus whether they met the criteria for major depressive disorder in the past year. They were also asked to rate their particular physical health and about any actual limitations that interfered with day to day living. They were asked how often they will experienced major lifetime discrimination in which their livelihood or life opportunities were threatened as well as less serious everyday discrimination and what primary status the discrimination was based on. Lastly, they were asked how much such discrimination interfered with their lives.

A person belonging to multiple disadvantaged groups might encounter a “ double disadvantage” when he or she is compared to both privileged and singly disadvantaged people, mentioned Grolllman. Adults who are members of more than one of the disadvantaged groups were a lot more like to report experiencing everyday plus lifetime major discrimination and view these experiences as stressful. They were also more likely to report poor health compared to singly disadvantaged or privileged adults. The disparities in physical health are partially explained by the increased number of forms of discrimination multiply disadvantaged people face.

Grollman’ s work provides one of the first empirical studies to document the link between poor health and multiple forms of discrimination, commented Mathew D. Gayman, Ph. D., and assistant professor within Georgia State University’ s Section of Sociology. “ Historically speaking, research on the health consequences of multiple forms of discrimination relied generally on marginalized social statuses as proxies for discrimination experiences — comparing the well-being of those in a single versus two socially disadvantaged organizations, ” said Gayman.

Studies that account for gender plus race-ethnic minority statuses as reflecting experiences of discrimination will risk misclassifying people who experience discrimination based on other reasons, added Gayman. “ Basing the number and forms of perceived discrimination on the respondents’ accounts helps reduce the misclassification of individuals and potentially avoids underestimating the level of discrimination that people experience in everyday life. ”

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Even the Best Proposal Ideas Can Fall Flat – Beware of These Red Flags

Even the Best Proposal Ideas Can Fall Flat – Beware of These Red Flags

No matter how much time he has put into thinking about how to propose you will find unfortunately times when a rejection is completely warranted. Even the most elaborate and impressive proposal ideas can fall flat due to a number of factors. If the red flags are waving during this life-changing event it might be best to go with your own gut instinct and either nicely decline the offer or even run away screaming!

There are a few specific incidents that justify an absolute and complete rejection of even the grandest offer ideas. Here are the top 5 great run for the hills.

Say My Name

What happens when he uses the incorrect name when proposing? There is simply no recovering from this massive faux passing. A little slip of the tongue can be forgiven once or twice, depending on the scenario, yet this is not that scenario.

Is He a Little Distracted?

Can you imagine being suggested to when just as your man is in full flow with his talk he gets distracted by the buxom blonde walking by? This one is rather self-explanatory. It is a definite no .


Pausing to check his emails or solution his phone when he is in the middle of proposing is not a good sign. This particular blatant example of short-term attention will not bode well for the future.

Doing You a Favour?

If he premises the offer with either ‘ I guess’ or ‘ I suppose we might since well’, he has definitely ruined as soon as. This fairly obvious reluctance on his part is not really part of the dream offer that most women wish for. If this individual believes he is doing you a prefer by proposing you might just want to re-educate him.

Asking for Wallet Money?

What do you do in case he asks for a loan to help buy the ring? Although times have changed and couples commonly share the expense of a ring these days, this is usually a pre-discussed and pre-arranged agreement in order to benefit your future together. However , in case he is frequently strapped for cash and does not visit a problem asking you to front the cash, you might want to question his morals.

It is true that every few is different and we all have unique and individual priorities, but it may also be easy to ignore these seemingly innocent downfalls when wearing the rose tinted glasses of love and especially in case he has hit upon a really amazing proposal idea and put it directly into action. It is wise to remember the life commitment you are about to make, and that this is not the time to settle for anything much less that what you really want. Expect the very best because you deserve the best, and don’ t fall prey to thinking that this is as good as it is going to get.

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